


Don't You Know?

by Inu_Sama



Category: Z Nation (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Graphic Depictions of Corpses, Graphic depictions of violence - Freeform, M/M, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Slow To Update
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-11
Updated: 2017-11-24
Packaged: 2018-12-26 12:13:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12058776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inu_Sama/pseuds/Inu_Sama
Summary: He looked into the frightened face of one of the lab techs and felt his insides chill. The woman looked behind her and frantically pulled out her ID, intending to open the door. The hairs on the back of his neck rose as he saw what was behind her, or who, for that matter.





	1. Prologue: The Beginning

Murphy watched on helplessly as the doctor raced out of the room, the sounds of gunfire and shouting punctuating the otherwise silent lab room as the door slid shut. Tied down as he was, he could only lift his head up enough to see the red warning lights reflect off the glass door at his feet. Though this room was sound proof, Murphy imagined there was the ear piercing wail of an alarm accompanying the flashing lights.

The straps holding him to the table were tight, but not unforgiving and Murphy wiggled his fingers and toes experimentally. Obviously shit had hit the fan out there and there was no way he would stick around to find out what it was that had the normally serious doctor in such a flurry. His fingers managed to grab onto one of the many clasps that held him down and pulled. Being double-jointed had never been a disadvantage for him, and it certainly helped him this time.

Murphy sucked in some air like a drowning man when the strap on his chest was released. Before he had been able to breathe, sure, but only so much and it felt so good to fill his lungs fully until it burned. Now that his torso was free, Murphy was able to twist his arm until his fingers brushed along the leather cuffs pinning his wrists. It was difficult, and if he had been anyone else, it would have been impossible.

But Murphy had always been able to do the impossible, even if he did get caught for postal fraud. He gasped at the pressure he was putting his joints through as he clumsily undid the belt-like cuff. Once that hand was free he was quickly onto the other. He was about to do his feet when there was a loud thud on the other side of the door. When Murphy looked up, he hadn’t been expecting someone to be standing there, staring at him.

He looked into the frightened face of one of the lab techs and felt his insides chill. The woman looked behind her and frantically pulled out her ID, intending to open the door. The hairs on the back of his neck rose as he saw what was behind her, or who, for that matter. He knew what it was, had seen the dead rise in the Yard after a knife fight. He had managed to escape before he could be dragged into the chaos, only to be knapped by the CDC.

Months he had spent being their pin cushion, their guinea pig. He had hated every second of it, and even if he  _ had  _ trusted the government like everyone else before he got arrested - he sure as shit didn’t now. They were monsters. Murphy tried to signal the woman that it was behind her, but it was no use. The thing descended on her just as the door opened, her screaming bouncing off the white tile walls he had spent the last three months looking at.

Her screams cut off abruptly when the zombie tore out her throat. Her mangled body lay in the doorway, preventing it from shutting - from keeping that thing away from Murphy. It looked up at him with reddened eyes, blood coating it's once human face as a feverish glint centered on Murphy. Panicking now, Murphy struggled with the cuffs on his feet. The terror coursing through his veins were making his fingers clumsy and it seemed an age had passed before he got his left foot free. By then more of those things had come, growling like hungry animals as they slowly approached. 

He took heaving breaths as the shock and panic completely took over. He was never going to make it out of here alive, that was now a certainty that settled heavily on Murphy’s shoulders. There was no time to undo his other leg and even if he did manage to, there were too many of them now. His eyes desperately searched the room for some sort of weapon, the last shreds of his instinct telling him to fight to the last breath. It was an instinct imbued into all living things, the driving force keeping them alive even if the odds look grim.

But there was nothing, the table of surgical tools had been knocked over when the doctor left and there was no way to reach it. A strange sense of calm washed over Murphy as the dead started to close in. It was as if he were past panic and went straight into third degree shock. Cold fingers pushed against him, urging him to lay down and with his brain practically offline, he easily obeyed. All he could do now was scream as teeth and nails tore into his flesh, the dead surrounding him on all sides.

  
_ ‘This is it.’ _ he thought, before blacking out completely.


	2. Puppies and kittens

Murphy watched the firelight of the nearby camp dance on the water as they got closer to shore. “Keep your eyes peeled, there may be snipers.” Hammond warned, guiding the little canoe towards the bank. They had only just felt the thump of land under them when the sound of guns cocking broke the silence. 

“That’s far enough,” A male voice cautioned, a dim silhouette outlined before them in the limited light. There was a click and then light illuminated the figures. After a few hours in the dark, the torch light was like looking at the sun and Murphy hissed like some cheap Hollywood vampire. Hammond was quick to put his hands up, leaving his rifle sitting at his feet. 

“I am Lieutenant Mark Hammond, and we need your help.” He finished simply, getting straight to the point as always. It didn’t seem to impress the woman that was now standing beside her partner. “And what do you need us for?” she asked, never lowering her gun. Hammond exhaled, as if exasperated. It would be frustrating having to explain this to every survivor they had asked for help. And there were a lot.

“I have been sent on a mission to deliver this man to a lab in California, he may be humanity’s only hope of ending this.” He explained, face stony as the weight of no sleep or food took it's toll. He made sure to keep eye contact with them though, trying to communicate the importance of his request with just his eyes.

While they had an old fashioned stare-down, Murphy extended his aching legs. He did not miss the way Hammond grunted when his feet kicked him in the back. He smirked, stretching his body as much as the limited space in the canoe would allow him. They had been in this thing for days and his muscles did not like it one bit.

The man before them said something and then Hammond was lowering his hands. “Well, I guess I won’t shoot them. Yet.” The woman mumbled, put out. But she did lower her gun so that was nice. Murphy grunted when he managed to stand, following Hammond’s lead he got out of the canoe. He looked at the woman, feeling that she was the one in charge. “Can we hurry this up? I would like to sleep on solid ground now - or a bed if you have one?” He asked, hopeful for the latter.

The woman’s lips twitched but she didn’t say anything. Instead she let the man beside her make the decision to let them in or not. “Charles Garnett,” He gestured beside him as he put away his pistol. “This is Roberta Warren. We were lieutenants… before.” Garnett trailed off, looking away with pain in his eyes. _ ‘Great, a dramatic one.’  _ Murphy thought with disgust. Everyone had lost someone, it was the fucking apocalypse! No need to shove it in everyone’s face.

He refused to feel sympathy for such weakness. He wouldn’t. He  _ didn’t _ . There was a pang in his chest in protest and he was forced to look away. “Camp’s this way.” Garnett called behind him, already disappearing into the thin forest that hugged the shore. Hammond grasped Murphy’s bicep and towed him along like a stubborn child. Considering he had tried to escape many times before this, Murphy understood the precaution.

He still didn’t like it.

Camp Blue Sky was relatively small, only a dozen or so people who all looked about to keel over. Murphy doubted they had much food here. They all stared at him as they went past, he knew what they would see; a thin, scraggly man with wild dark hair that obscured most of his face and a short beard that covered what little could be seen. The last time he had been near a razor or a pair of scissors had been a year ago back at the lab.

It felt weird having so many living, breathing humans around him again. They seemed happy here though - for the end of the world. They sat around a small fire, passing around what little rations were left. Hammond sat close, too close, but that was nothing new. Murphy swore he had boundary issues, but he hadn’t seen him do it to anyone else. Maybe he was just paranoid Murphy would run off again. Nevertheless, it was annoying - even if it did help stave off the cold.

After a very light dinner, they were shown to a tiny cabin that looked like it could cave in at any moment. Murphy didn’t mind, once he saw the double bed inside. Without saying another word, Murphy took off the outer layer of his clothes and kicked off his boots. He was careful not to show any skin in front of the two strangers at his back, that wouldn’t make a good impression. Shit would hit the fan if they saw he had bites.

He dived under the covers and groaned in appreciation at the soft feel of fabric under his hands. Murphy would have fallen asleep right there if Garnett and Warren weren’t there. He didn’t feel comfortable sleeping in front of anyone but Hammond, who had saved his life many times over and still put up with him. Dare he say it? He just might trust Hammond, only a little bit. But that was a lot for someone like Murphy who had grown up with less than stellar parents.

Warren snorted, muttering something before leaving the room. “Why don’t you guys get some sleep? It looks like you need it.” Garnett suggested, noticing that Hammond was still standing in the middle of the room. There was a grunt of agreement from the bed and Garnett left them alone, closing the door behind him. Hammond immediately turned the deadbolt, locking them inside before kicking off his boots too. By the time Hammond was under the covers, Murphy was dead to the world.

\--------

Waking up in an actual bed was refreshing, to say the least. It felt like he was fully rested for the first time in years, which was probably accurate considering the life he had been forced into. For once, Hammond was still asleep - which was odd as the military man always made sure to be up before Murphy. It was another precaution, he was sure. At one point Murphy thought the man didn’t sleep at all, but that wasn’t humanly possible so he scrapped the idea immediately.

He considered just going back to sleep, he knew they would be leaving today and he didn’t know when he would get to sleep in a bed again. But he was also kind of curious about the campers already banging around outside. What decided it was nature’s call, and he left the cabin to relieve himself. 

When he returned, Warren was waiting for him at the now extinguished fire pit. She held out a bowl of lucky charms and Murphy was not surprised something as processed as that had survived all this time. He wasn’t even sure shit like that even had a real expiration date. Nevertheless, he took it and sat down a little ways beside her. Just because Hammond had personal space issues did not mean Murphy did.

“So what’s really going on?” Warren asked casually, but the tension in her shoulders gave away the underlying suspicion she felt about the newcomers. Murphy didn’t blame her, their situation did sound pretty sketchy - and he was the one that went through the experiments! “Hammond wasn’t lying as far as he knows.” Murphy replied, dodging what she really wanted him to say.

Warren pursed her lips, unconvinced. She was a smart lady, that was for sure. “And what do you know?” Murphy went quiet for a few moments, pushing back the memories. “I know that you can trust him.” Murphy finally said, finished with his breakfast. It was a while before Hammond woke, and after a similar bowl of cereal they went straight into it.

“I just need some basic supplies and a ride as far as the Tappan Zee bridge.” He said, pointing to a spot on the map outstretched on the table in front of them. That was a long way from Camp Blue Sky and Murphy could see the doubt cross their faces. But Hammond pushed on, getting desperate now. They needed the help and he was willing to do anything for this mission, he had to. Warren put her hands on her hips, staring down at the map with narrowed eyes. Garnett pinched the bridge of his nose before speaking. “You understand why we can't do that, right?” He glanced at his partner before returning his suddenly weary gaze to Hammond.

“Look, we just need to meet up with the rest of my team. Murphy  _ needs  _ to get to that lab.” Murphy himself didn’t really want to go, he’d been experimented on before and he didn’t want to go through that again. But he also knew that he would be safe with Hammond and his team, he could ditch them later when he was ready to survive on his own. As it stood, his wounds hadn’t fully healed yet as the muscle underneath was still tender. 

He wasn’t in a position to defend himself from zombies and people alike so his best option was to stick with the guy hell bent on keeping him alive. At their unconvinced looks, Murphy opened his mouth to say  _ why  _ he was needed there but Hammond slammed his hand down on the table and stood up. “Do you see that man?” He pointed a dark finger at Murphy, who looked just as startled as the others. “He is the only human to have survived being bitten by a zombie, we  _ need  _ to get him to that lab so they can make a vaccine and END this nightmare!” Hammond shouted, clearly riled up.

Murphy knew why, it had been days since they had been in contact with the team at the bridge. They were most likely already gone, the last hope of reinforcement Hammond had. Understandably he was on edge. “Show them.” He ordered, turning his burning gaze to Murphy. The man in question sighed and obediently lifted up his shirt to expose the scarred flesh of his torso. He heard the inhales of shock and disgust that had become a familiar sound to Murphy and lowered his shirt.

It was Warren that broke the silence that had descended after Hammond’s outburst. “Fine. We will get you two to the bridge.” She said, her demeanor calm in the face of the other man’s anger. Garnett looked at Warren as if she had grown two heads, but didn’t say anything to defy her decision. They would always show a united front, that was what had kept the people here calm and cooperative. He trusted Warren, trusted her judgement of these two. She was a smart woman, capable of getting them out of a bad situation if it turned out they were lying.


	3. Fracking Zombies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a short one, though these things always do on this site. I don't know if i went a little heavy on Murphy's PTSD and fear of abandonment but I hope you enjoy it anyway.

Hammond was dead. The thought almost sent Murphy into a panic attack. Who was going to protect him now? Also, on another note, babies made fast fucking zombies. Murphy shivered, there was a reason he’d never liked kids. Seeing the others raise their guns, Murphy covered his ears and waited for the now-familiar sound of gunfire. It was over quickly and he barrelled out into the sunlight hands on knees as he tried to breathe. He felt sick, like he wanted to throw up but there was nothing in his stomach.

“Hey, we need to go!” Doc urged, pulling him along towards the truck. No one got in though, still trying to process what had just happened. Camp Blue Sky was gone, Hammond was gone, they had nothing to go back to and nowhere to run. Murphy felt his initial panic twist in his gut once again as he thought about what his immediate future could look like now that the big bad military man was no longer in the picture. These people had no obligation to keep him safe, they could just leave him here to rot. He was the outsider of the group, after all.

His paranoia loosened his tongue, making him spit out whatever came to mind. “This wouldn’t have happened if we had just  _ left the baby _ !” Murphy hissed, thrusting grimy hands through his dishevelled hair in agitation. “And now you’re going to leave me here…” Murphy sunk down to his knees, feeling like he couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t go through that again, being eaten. Once was enough and it had traumatised him to the point he couldn’t be within a meter of a Z without losing it. Now he was going to be abandoned, again.

There was a warm hand on his back and he started badly, flinching so hard he smacked his shoulder into the wheel of the truck. “Hey...hey, it’s going to be okay, man. We’re not gonna leave you here, we’re not that kind of people.” Doc reassured, rubbing soothing circles into the other man’s back. Murphy refused to believe it, the anxiety chewing up his insides as thoughts swirled through his mind. He shook his head, curling further into himself. He knew he looked pathetic, having a panic attack in front of strangers. This was the apocalypse for fuck’s sake! He needed to be stronger or he really was going to get eaten.

“Uh oh, Puppies and Kittens!” Warren warned, pulling out her gun as the others did the same. Murphy froze briefly at the sound of growling before quickly leaping to his feet, feeling the panic crash against him in waves as he saw how  _ many  _ there were. He knew it was cowardly, that it made him look bad, but Murphy climbed into the truck anyway and hid in the backseat. There were shots coming from the opposite side of where the others were standing their ground. Murphy peeked his head up enough to see a figure get up from their position in the third storey across from them. A sniper. Maybe it was one of the surviving military that were stationed here? Murphy hoped so, that it would be someone like Hammond who took ‘the mission’ very seriously.

It wasn’t. When everything was said and done, the sniper turned out to be just a kid calling himself 10K. Didn’t stop Warren from picking him up, though. So now they had another stranger tagging along. Murphy felt like he was surrounded on all sides by people he wasn’t sure he could trust. It made his spine tingle unpleasantly with fear, his gut twisting in his anxiety about the situation he found himself in. Even if Garnett made the decision to take on ‘the mission’, to get Murphy to California, he still couldn’t relax just yet. Something felt off with this group, Murphy could sense it like he could sense the Z crawling along the side of the road before he saw it. But he would find out what was wrong, sooner or later as these things tended to come out on their own.


	4. Philly feast

10K and Doc were charged with looking after Murphy while the others tried to rescue Addy. She’d been abducted by Cassandra’s people in response to the woman’s disobedience. Murphy was tired of the bullshit that seemed to follow this group, but he had nowhere else to go so all he had left was the occasional snarky remark and a lot of brooding. Murphy lay back on the bed of the truck, soaking up the sun like it was oxygen. He groaned in appreciation as he stretched out, feeling his joints pop. Being cooped up in a small space with other people was hell on one’s body, it was like the canoe with Hammond all over again. “You alright there, bud?” Doc’s voiced sounded from somewhere to his right, amusement in his voice. Murphy smiled, eyes still closed. “Oh hell yeah, I’m  _ so  _ good right now.” he replied, folding his hands behind his head as he crossed his ankles.

There was a laugh, which only made him smile wider. The kid was perched above him on the cab of the truck, monitoring the situation through his trusty scope. Murphy wanted to share this wonderful feeling with him, he felt the kid was too serious. It couldn’t be good for his health. “Hey, 10K, why don’t you take a break and join me?” Murphy called, watching as the kid’s shoulders tensed before a short ‘no thanks’ was given and he went back to his ‘job’. Murphy pouted, he couldn’t tell if the kid hated him or if he was like that with every stranger. To his disappointment he had seen 10K warming up to the others - especially Doc. So it was just him, then. Fine, that didn’t sting, not even a little. Doc gave him a pitying smile before going back to cleaning one of the few guns he had left. He’d had to ditch most of them because he couldn’t find the ammo for them and there was no sense in lugging all that extra weight around.

Doc liked Murphy somewhat, he was funny and had a few crayons missing from the pack just like Doc. They got on surprisingly well for two people that had only met a few days ago. But it was also pity that drew the older man to his side. Murphy’s PTSD towards Zs was a common enough thing these days, but it was so much worse for him. He had been  _ chewed on  _ for god knows how long before being dragged around the country by people that wanted to sacrifice him for the greater good of humanity. Murphy had every right to act the way he did, considering how the world had treated him thus far. No one had stopped to ask if he was okay and that was sad. But Doc knew that Murphy wouldn’t respond well to that kind of thing so all he could do was offer his support and friendship.

Doc was shaken from his thoughts when he could hear the soft snoring coming from the man before him. How Murphy could sleep in a situation like this was a mystery and something that made him grateful for it. All of them had heard him screaming in his sleep, tossing and turning. Doc could only imagine what his nightmares would look like. Doc idly wondered when the others would return, he was getting hungry and there wasn’t any food left. They would need to go scavenging - gone were the days of summoning food to your door with nothing more than a phone call.

It turned out to be almost sundown when they all had to squish into the truck once again, both girls accounted for and a horde of Zs headed their way. ‘ _ Great’ _ , Murphy thought.

**Author's Note:**

> Heyo!   
> Hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> Any suggestions? Maybe we could brainstorm on motivations, character reactions, plot lines? Critiques? universe lore? It keeps me motivated to keep writing as I always start of with only a vague idea of what I want - which would leave a lot up to debate!
> 
> So come! Discuss with me! I would highly appreciate it!


End file.
